Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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