I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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