yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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