well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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