Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize