so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
