Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize