READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
