I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
