Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
