It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
