fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
