oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In America we eat man semen.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
