I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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