i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
MIDGETS
????
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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