Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
