Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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