I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
