just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
