Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
