On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
