And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
