omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
