if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
