I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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