did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
