She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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