If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
