Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize