Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize