I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
