He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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