She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
