Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
