At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
