i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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