fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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