Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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