Who did Billy Mays play for?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
