Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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