First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
we're so committed to being not committed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
