I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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