Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
