You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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