your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
50% drunk capacity currently
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
