Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
