yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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