At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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