i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize