I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
