so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
