who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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