I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
