we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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