Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize