lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
