Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
