On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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