I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All the doctor said was why
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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