I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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