Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
