he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
