I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
