so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
