i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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