Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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