No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
