Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
NoShamevember. You game?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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