I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
