bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
