Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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