at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
