I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
