I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
