I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
