awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
