Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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