Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize